Core beliefs are put in place while we are still children. We create a frame of reference through which we make sense of our world, what is expected, what we can and cannot do. Within our frame of reference are all the life experiences, personality traits, feelings, labels, relationships and reactions we have made.
When we are given and accept as truth abstract labels and comments that are defiling and degrading, an internal negative critic is developed that continues to remind us how bad we are. This critic is judgmental and restrictive. When those negative tapes are triggered and played over and over, we not only believe them but they become self-fulfilling prophecies.
When we stop listening to those old critical tapes, we can enlarge our frames of reference, and let go of restrictive and limiting attitudes.
Within adversity and losses we have the opportunity to enlarge our frame of reference about what we are able to accomplish. As we challenge negative core beliefs, outdated scripts and shameful self talk, we have the opportunity to become more of who we are.
Losses are an opportunity to discard many old scripts that tell us what we have to do, must do, or should and ought to do and gain a new perspective – a new interpretation of “me”.
Make a decision to take charge of your life. You will make the goals that are right for you and you will assume responsibility for them. As you refuse to be a victim and refuse to play the blame game, you will find ways to activate your personal power and make the changes that will improve your life.
Marlene Anderson