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How we react to conflict can make a huge difference between ongoing, escalating battles where nobody wins, or turning it into a solution and a win-win.
Conflict is almost always associated with how we communicate problems. Today on my podcast and blog, we’ll look at “the story of the faulty air conditioner” from two perspectives.
Then I’ll provide six helpful ways to prevent conflicts in your own life from escalating.
There are as many types of problems as there are flowers in a field.
A lot of the “problems” we face could be more accurately described as quick decisions we make in the moment:
What will I wear today?
What will I have for dinner?
Other problems are more serious. They involve relationships, marriages, conflicts that won’t go away, finances, caregiving of elderly parents, etc.
Today on my blog and podcast, you’ll learn six productive ways to effectively solve problems.
How do you see the world?
How does your perception differ from others you know, including your family?
Why does it matter?
Those differences become obvious as we talk, act, and live our lives. It also influences the observations we make and the insights we get, and how we use them.
Perceptions are the personal assessments we make about the world, and they begin to form early in life, becoming more specific as we age. They influence all our relationships and how we communicate and interact with others.
Beliefs and values are very powerful. We will die for them. We will kill others for them. We will give up comfort and safety for them. We need them.
Today on my blog and podcast, you’ll discover examples of healthy vs. unhealthy values and beliefs, and you’ll get tips for developing the skills of optimism and purpose.
When I go through department stores, I am constantly on alert for that good bargain or unique pair of pants or top I might enjoy wearing.
If something grabs my attention, I hold it up in front of me in a nearby mirror to do a quick assessment. Does the color look good? Do I like the lines of the garment? What draws my attention to it from all the others on the rack?
If I still like it after a quick evaluation, I will try it on. Only after I have tried it on will I know whether it is right for me.
Problem solving works that way, too. When we choose an option we think will be the solution to our problem, we “try it on” to discover whether it is the right choice for us.
Read on for ideas about how to productively “try on” and assess solutions.
In step one of this series, you identified the problem, looked at it from different perspectives and expanded it to include all possible contributing factors.
In step two, you listed potential solutions. As you brainstormed and generated possibilities, fresh ideas were added to your list without preliminary judgment or comparisons.
Now, in step three, it is time to evaluate, prioritize and choose.
Which solutions are relevant and helpful? Which might point to another possibility you hadn’t thought of yet?
Once a problem has been identified, we can start looking for solutions. In this step, we begin brainstorming all the ways we can find a solution. Be as creative as you can. Don’t dismiss any possibilities even if they seem bizarre or impossible. Writing them down often helps us see alternatives we wouldn’t have thought of without this free flowing of ideas.
There are so many variables, both to our problems and their potential outcomes. Ask friends and others you know to help you brainstorm. You want as many suggestions as possible.
Continue reading for more tips on creatively generating solutions to problems.
Most decisions we make are so insignificant we rarely think about them, such as, “What will I wear to work today?” or “What shall I plan for dinner?” But other decisions are more complicated, demanding thoughtful consideration.
When symptoms keep us edgy and anxious, it may take a while to separate and identify the problem from the symptoms it is creating.
Today on my blog, we’ll take a deep dive into the importance of recognizing when a problem is a problem and clearly defining the conflict.
We often confuse our initial emotional responses as the problem itself. However, our emotional reaction is the byproduct of problems.
For example, you find yourself reacting with anger whenever your spouse suggests something. Before you even take time to consider the request, you have already identified the problem as your spouse.
The real problem – unresolved conflicts between the two of you and inability to communicate appropriately – hasn’t been identified.
Today on my blog and podcast, I’ll give you five tips for rationally identifying a problem, and we’ll dive deeper into the basic components of problem-solving.
“You think you’ve got problems – you should hear what happened to me last week…”
And on and on it goes – we cannot wait to get together and share our stories of what new disaster we encountered.
Problems usually require a decision of some kind. Most decisions are small, but even small ones have consequences.
Today on my blog and podcast, I’m starting a new series on problem-solving. This week, we’ll examine decision-making and I’ll introduce you to five basic problem-solving steps.