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Posts Categorized: Developing a New Focus

You Will Become What You Focus On

A personal story of why our FOCUS is so important

Years ago, when our kids were in school, I began attending attended classes at a community college as a returning adult. My husband was head of the music department there. The college was in its infancy and the department heads were active in recruiting and developing curriculum and programs.

It was an exciting time and I enjoyed taking different classes that stretched my mind. At some point, however, I decided I needed to focus on where I wanted all this to take me, and began taking classes that would direct me into a career.

A Guide to Developing Character and Wisdom

What is character and why is it important?

Do I need to spend time and energy to develop it?

Won’t I develop character and acquire wisdom simply by living?

Well, yes and no. We do gain wisdom by learning through our mistakes. However, gaining it in that way alone can be risky. Mistakes can be costly, with lifelong consequences.

Today on my blog and podcast, I present a character development exercise you can work through. It will help you define the principles you live by — and the ones you want to live by.

7 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Feel Fearful

paper dragon

Fear can be our friend or our enemy. It can prepare us, instruct us, and keep us safe. Or it can become a huge, threatening shadow that locks us in anxiety, worry, doubt, uncertainty, and helplessness.

Often, we spend too much time paying attention to the emotional response of fear and not enough time identifying what we are afraid of. We can spend hours worrying about the “what ifs” that our mind creates when held in the grip of fear.

We can recognize and reduce unhealthy anxiety and fear by asking ourselves seven questions when our fear buttons get triggered.

5 Ways to Prevent Fear from Paralyzing You

When our lives are dominated by anxiety and fear, we will experience panic, which freezes us and sets off a chain reaction of more negative thoughts. Anxiety keeps feeding the fear and panic with slogans such as:

  • “You’re doomed.”
  • “There’s nothing you can do.”
  • “It’s hopeless.”

But when we peel away the layers of our fears, hidden beliefs that compromise our ability to take that next step are revealed.

Today on my podcast and blog, you’ll learn five ways to unveil hidden beliefs and thought patterns so you can confront your fears and begin to work through them.

What is the Root Cause of Your Anxiety and Fear?

Creating and Taming Fear Dragons | FocusWithMarlene.com

Years ago, I was attacked in my home by an intruder. I was fortunate and came away unhurt. But it was a moment of real fear when confronted with a danger that was overpowering and very real.

Fear – like all emotions – gives us information. It can warn us, keep us safe, and alert us to danger. It can help prevent disasters. It can empower us to take appropriate action to avoid a calamity or to correct behaviors.

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll talk about “what if” fears that can overwhelm us and lead to a negative internal dialogue that creates a “fear dragon.” You’ll learn what to do when you recognize a “fear dragon.”

The Cost of Obsessive Anxiety

My mother was a worrier. My oldest sister was a worrier. I remember her telling me she couldn’t help it; she was just born that way. While we may have a tendency toward reacting certain ways, we are not a reluctant prisoner to those tendencies.

Worrying is good only if it motivates you to take action. Otherwise, it’s a useless waste of energy.

Are you a worrier?

Today on my blog and podcast, I’ll show you a simple exercise that will help you define what you’re anxious about and whether your worries have any importance.

Become the Person You Were Meant to Be

As we move from one stage of development to another, we seldom take time to reflect and examine what we do and why we do it.

Yet, to become the person you were meant to be requires a thorough understanding of who you are.

Who am I?

As you begin to answer that question, you might find it difficult to come up with answers because you are used to identifying yourself by your role in life or by the job or work you do. This is natural.

But if you want to go a step further, you must ask more probing questions. Today’s exercise is just for you!

Take an Inventory of Your Routines and Habits

During this series, you have been discovering more about yourself so you can make the changes you want and need. You can expand your thoughts about what you want to do with your life by taking an in-depth inventory.

For one week, write down the time of day and what you do during that time. Include times when you do frivolous things, such as playing games on your phone.

Today on my blog and podcast, you’ll learn how to review your inventory and how to eliminate unnecessary items.

How to Replace Negative Self-Talk With Affirmations

“You always fail.”

“You are too stupid to learn.”

“You will make a mess of anything you do.”

Negative messages repeated over and over make it difficult for us to believe in ourselves. We soon personalize them and repeat them in our self-talk:

I keep failing.

I have to be careful, or others will find out just how inept I am.

Today on my podcast and blog, I’ll show you a strategy to replace negative self-talk with affirmations.

What Do I Want to Do With The Rest of My Life?

During January, we focused on building confidence. This month, we’ll explore where we want to go and ways to get there. Today, we’ll do a quick evaluation of what we want.

We can’t have everything, but it is critical to know what is most important.

  • If you woke up tomorrow morning and could do whatever you wanted, what would that be?
  • How would you feel? Does the thought of doing that thing motivate and excite you?
  • Is there a way you could accomplish that thing?

    Today on my blog and podcast, you’ll find six questions you can ask yourself that will help you clarify what you want out of life.