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Developing a New Focus

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Get caught up with all episodes in the Developing a New Focus series.

Today I want to introduce you to my new series: Developing a New Focus.

On the HOME page of my website, there is a picture of two chairs and a table on a sunny patio, with a teapot and two cups, ready for two people to have a relaxed conversation.

Focus banner

Atop the picture, I wrote, “Your focus defines who you are and who you can become.”

I put those words there because it is so true – what you continue to focus on will determine what kind of person you become and what you can achieve.

If we fixate on doing the same thing over and over, even when it isn’t working, nothing will change, and things will eventually get worse.

But when we are willing to stop and consider whether what we are doing is benefiting us, we can make wonderful improvements.

Developing a new focus is an incredible gift of awareness you give yourself.

Every day there are decisions to be made. Decisions eventually become habits – we don’t think – we just act. The problem comes when we continue to react without thinking and set in motion routines and habits that are counterproductive.

Routines are important. But they need to be reviewed and considered from time to time.

Life can be daunting, especially for women who may be widowed or divorced. With losses come upsetting or worrisome changes. It may be the death of a loved one or the loss of good health. Other times, the aging process itself reminds us there are major changes coming. Often, we are left feeling unsettled at best and depressed at worst.

However, each time we are required to start again, we learn something new about who we are and ways to meet our challenges.

Any unknown territory can be daunting or intimidating. But when we develop a confidence in ourselves and a faith and trust in God, along with a willingness to do what it takes, there is little we can’t accomplish.


My upcoming blog posts and podcast episodes will focus on the many ways you can improve the quality of your life, reduce anxieties, and gain confidence. I want to encourage you to believe in yourself and all the things you can accomplish by adjusting your approach to problems turning challenges into victories.

Free Life-Planning Worksheet

I have put together a life planning worksheet, “Eight Ways to Change Your Focus and Change Your Life.” The worksheet includes tips and links for additional exploration to help you replace negative thinking, resentment, and bad habits with an “I can” mindset. Sign up here or on my website  to receive this worksheet.

Remember, that at any moment in time, we can learn and apply new things. We are never too old. It might seem scary at first but that soon changes to excitement as we see those first signs of progress.

For example, we grow up talking to one another, but often our communication turns into misunderstandings and major conflicts. Or we make decisions without investigating the pros and cons associated with them. We seldom dig deep enough to find the underlying causes of our problems. Yet, when we properly identify our problems, we can find good solutions.

How to Make Your Life More Enjoyable

Are you ready to take that plunge into discovering new ways to make your life more enjoyable? Are you ready to take charge?

If so, here are a few things to consider.

First, be honest.

Are you scared? Then acknowledge it. Meet it head on. Often, fear keeps us from trying.

Sometimes the hardest thing is getting to know yourself. Stop making excuses and accept who you are – the good, bad and the ugly. We have both strengths and weaknesses. Acknowledge both. They make us human.

Next, determine what you want.

  • What do you really want?
  • How do you want to live your life?
  • Would you like to be more flexible to new ideas?
  • Do you want to be more open and inviting?
  • Do you want to communicate better?

Listening is a major first step where we actively listen to opposing points of view without predetermined judgment or bias. Listening respectfully and genuinely doesn’t mean we have to agree.

Would you like to be more caring and accepting of people?

Look around and reach out to someone who needs to know they are supported. They may be grieving or going through tough times, or they just need to know someone cares. There are so many opportunities in our everyday life where we can extend kindness, understanding and assistance without it costing us a dime (and in most cases, little time).

If you want to be accepted by others, be accepting of them.

Would you like to be respected? Then respect others. Respect the boundaries and opinions of others and express your own boundaries. We often get hurt because of misunderstandings.

It takes time to put any new skill in place.

But with each step we gain a greater awareness of ourselves, others, and our world. Choose the principles you want to live your life by and begin applying them on a daily basis.

Challenge old behaviors and responses that don’t meet our standards or values and replace them.

As I start this new series, I would love to hear from you.

What questions would you like to ask?

As a former licensed counselor, psychology teacher, and devout Christian, I love to share the training and knowledge and life experiences I have had that might assist you in your journey.

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I am also available for speaking engagements, retreats or teaching workshops for your church, clubs, or women’s groups.

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