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Fear Monsters

Nothing creates fear monsters faster than when we constantly go over and over a problem focusing only on the anxiety it creates to the exclusion of looking for potential solutions. Fear is healthy and keeps us safe.  But when it goes beyond its intended purpose, it soon takes over our lives.

What are you saying to yourself about your situation?

While sharing with friends can release some of the tension we feel and can help us gain a new perspective, it is what we say to ourselves that is critical.

We are often unaware of that continual stream of conversation we have with ourselves 24-7.  If that self-talk remains focused only on the fear and anxiety we feel, we will not find the solutions we need.

Our brains respond to the thoughts that stream through our consciousness. If you constantly repeat to yourself how bad things are, how little control you have, how helpless you are, how others are so much better off than you, etc. etc. etc. you will begin to respond accordingly. If you think there is no use in trying, you will have little creative energy to move forward.

Our thinking can produce a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Negative beliefs soon become a reality. We can perpetuate the problem or we can find ways to resolve it. We can give up or we can generate determination and an “I can do it” attitude and mindset.

Tell yourself, no matter how hard it is, giving up is not an option. Focus on the things you can do, not what you can’t do.

Problems can become like a mirror – we stand in front of them and all we see is the problem.  We polish it; look at it continually and our problems become our frame of reference.

Put up a new mirror that reflects possibilities and options.  Let go of what is not working, even if it worked at one time.

Use downturns and failures and defeats as an opportunity to learn and grow.  It can be the spark of creativity and ingenuity.

Successful people have learned how to use their mistakes and failures to their advantage.  It is how you choose to frame any situation that is important.

Don’t let a bruised ego keep you from trying again.  Everyone needs to learn humility.  We will make mistakes. Use them as opportunities to grow into the best “you” possible. I’m not talking about an “I am better than you” attitude. We can use tough times to define what is truly important and begin implementing those values.

Arrogance has no place in genuine personal development because to grow we need to acknowledge that we are not perfect. We need the help of others and need to reach out and help others in turn.  Just as children learning to walk will fall down many times, adults will also fall down. As we go through life we will fall many times.  What’s important is that we keep picking ourselves up and telling ourselves we can do it. We get stronger each time we do.

Marlene Anderson


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