Posts Categorized: The Counselor Is In

When we are constantly angry we tend to be reactive. And when we are reactive we may not choose the best response. We would like to think of ourselves as rational and level headed. Yet when a car cuts us off on the freeway, we find ourselves wanting to get even. When our spouse does not…

When we are reactive we become a prisoner to other people and events. People make us upset. We become defensive or go on the attack. The world determines whether I can be successful or not. We are reacting to situations instead of initiating what we want to happen.  When we are reactive, we make hasty…

We are re-acting all the time to people and events that are happening in the moment. We will experience a whole range of emotions: anger, fear, anxiety, worry, hate, betrayal, rejection, unwanted, ashamed, inadequate, unappreciated, upset, deflated, and the list goes on. Becoming proactive does not mean we won’t experience reactive emotions. All emotions are…

If we grew up without learning the life skills that help us communicate our wants and needs, how do we go about learning and applying these skills? It is easy to read and understand what they do. It’s not as easy to apply them to our life. First, be honest. Perhaps the hardest thing for…

If we are going to become responsible for our emotions and responses to life we need to look at our attitudes. What is Attitude? An attitude is a mindset, an approach to life, a way we look at the world. It is a point of view we hold of our ability to function and interact…

I’m sure you have heard the phrase the only thing that is constant is change. We can prepare for specific changes: retirement, establishing budgets and savings for emergencies, spending within our limits, setting specific long term goals. But it is more difficult to prepare for those things that occur outside the realm of our control…

We learn in many ways. When we are little, we learn by experimenting: falling down, getting hurt and gradually learning what not to do. We also learn by observing: what did our parents do – not just what they said, but how did they live their lives. How do other kids respond to what I say…

There’s a time to wait and a time to act. Discernment is never easy. But it is a skill worth developing. Who do you listen to? Whose advice is more sound? A friend struggles to make the best decision for a declining spouse. Where will she receive the best care? When should I intervene as…

In the Introduction to the Book of Joshua, Eugene Peterson writes in the Message: “God’s great love and purposes for us are worked out in the messes, storms and sins, blue skies, daily work and dreams of our common lives, working with us as we are and not as we should be.” This last summer,…

My husband and I were sailboat cruisers. We moved to the beautiful northern Washington State area so we could take advantage of the wonderful cruising opportunities available in the San Juan Islands. When you do any serious sailing or cruising it is important to learn the rules of the road, know where the shipping lanes…