Firecrackers popping, potato salad made. Soda Pop is in the cooler covered with ice and we congregate as friends together to watch the evening fireworks.

                     The 4^th of July

it is one of our nation’s favorite holidays.

It is a favorite because it represents freedom, independence and liberty. We are free to be our own person, free to move around and make our own choices. We have autonomy and self-determination. Our liberty was bought with blood and sweat and tears by those who came before us. That liberty assures us that we are free from the control and restrictions of a despotic or arbitrary government control.

When that freedom and independence is applied to our personal life, we are challenged to do something productive and constructive with that freedom.

We can use that freedom to destroy or to build up. We are free to build constructs of caring and compassion and love or to nurse grievances and retaliate when given the opportunity.

We can choose to reach out and help our neighbor, or build higher walls of intolerance to screen out our hatred while hiding behind masks of tolerance and purity.

We cannot legislate love instead of hate, tolerance instead of prejudice. It is a heart thing – not a law thing.

We choose to let love rule instead of hate. We choose to blame or we use what God has given us to build something meaningful.

We choose to pick up the tools of diligence, commitment and determination instead of the tools of finding fault, criticism, and blame.

The one empowers – the other self-destructs. The first will ignite our creativity, ingenuity and resourcefulness. The other will destroy us.

What does the 4^th of July mean to you? I hope it means more than flags waving, parades, and bands playing. We get caught up in the celebrations and it is easy to gloss over the sacrifices that was made so we could be free.

I pray that God will strengthen each of us to use our freedom and liberty to serve Him, others and work for the good of all. I pray that God will give me the wisdom to make the right choices even when they are tough ones. I pray that God will grant mercy and grace to a nation that so often forgets that He was why we became a great nation in the first place.

Marlene Anderson

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As I work through the final edits of my book, From Winter to Spring, I am reminded again just how important and tenuous words can be.

We think we have chosen the right words to express a certain thought or idea but then it is questioned. What did you mean by that? Can you elaborate more?

Words by themselves don’t necessarily say what we want them to say. They are not always self-defining by their usage. Additional or different words might be needed to accurately convey what it is you want to say.

Some years back, my husband and I moved to England for a couple of years to teach children of American servicemen and women. Traveling on a DoDS travel contract, we arrived in England with our son and my husband’s mother, exhausted but excited.

As we were waiting to check into a temporary but quaint retreat center, I asked directions to find the bathroom and was directed up a short flight of stairs to a second floor. When I opened the door, instead of the toilet I was expecting, what I saw was a large pleasant room with a huge bathtub and sink.

When I went back, confused, to the check-in desk to inquire further, I was informed that the “bathroom” was where you took a bath. The toilet was where you went to eliminate yourself.

That was the introduction to our education about how different the meanings for words that we were familiar with could be.

We naively thought that going to a country that spoke “English” would mean we would have no difficulty communicating not realizing the everyday words we used in the States had a totally different meaning here in the UK. We had already learned at the airport that WC stood for water closet and meant public restroom.

Most of the time the transition of words and meanings happened with a chuckle as we gained a better understanding of the difference in meanings and usage.

Some incidents, however, created confusing and sometimes embarrassing moments.

When I went to ask about purchasing an item in an overcrowded store, I was told by a harried clerk to queue up. I did not understand that she was telling me I was supposed to “get in line”.

Eventually, someone in the not so obvious “line” saw my confused look and explained to me what “queue” meant.

I was only too happy to go to the back of the line once I recognized where the line was and that it was the queue.

Before our car arrived from the states, we had to rent a car and quickly learned that the trunk of a car was called the “boot” and that the hood that covered the engine was called a “bonnet”.

The “carriageway” was a road; a “dual carriageway” was a major road separated from the opposing one going in the opposite direction which we would call a divided highway.

A “motorway”, designated by an abbreviated “M” followed by an appropriate number, was a controlled-access highway. A “flyover” was a road crossing another road which we in America would call an overpass.

And that large truck barreling down the freeway was actually called a “lorry”.

We also learned immediately that driving on the “wrong” side of the road was really the “right” side and that “round-a-bouts” that replaced all those pesky top signs could really be pretty cool once we learned how to enter and exit them. (There were some that were a bit tricky.)

What has all this got to do with edits and books and words?

After all we are talking about the words we use here in the USA.  Perhaps it would help to reflect a moment on the words we use to communicate with one another. How often have you had a conversation that turned out wrong?  How often have you said one thing and it was taken to mean something totally different?

In many ways, each of us are our own country that interprets and judges the words spoken as it reflects on our past experiences and the meanings we gave those experiences.

Perhaps just knowing that can give us more pause in our communications. Am I really relaying what I want to say? Will the other person really see things the way I do? How can I rephrase or check to be sure my intent is received as it was intended?

Marlene Anderson

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Mothers

As I enjoyed a wonderful time with my daughter this Mothers Day, who is a fantastic mother, I wanted to pay a special tribute to Moms.

Mothers Day is more than just a celebration once a year where we give flowers, send a card and try to say thanks.

It is an opportunity to think about what it means to be a Mom.

What does it mean to be a Mom?  

Moms have a special relationship with their children that no one else can have as it began before they were born.  As our babies grew in our wombs, we spoke to them and even sang songs to them.  Love grew along with the baby.

As children, we often took our Moms for granted.  We knew they were there for us.   Somehow they managed to feed and clothe us and get us to school on time.  They put up with our whining, temper tantrums and sick days. For single moms, their work load was doubled as they met the needs of their kids before and after going to work and all the in-between times when phone calls from school told them their child was sick and had to be picked up.

It is only later in life that we realize all the hard work, sacrifices and love that went into raising us.

As I thought about my own mother, I wondered how she was able to work side by side with my dad on a large farm, helped with all the endless chores, make ends meet and still raise ten children. She grew a garden larger than most people’s backyard and food was canned or preserved in some way. Somehow, she was able to tend a beautiful flower garden and her kitchen window blossomed with rows of African violets set on glass shelves that Dad made for her.

There wasn’t a lot of time to spend individually with each of us kids. But what she did give us was a strong belief in family and in God, a faith to cling to when life was hard and principles to live by.  These were incredible gifts to me. She lived her faith.  My parents were married 75+ years.

Moms are ordinary people

Moms are ordinary people who struggle each day, sometimes just to survive.  Somehow they manage when life strips them of the comforts of life we come to expect as necessary.

To be a Mom, you don’t need a degree or special training.  You only need a willingness to love, cherish and spend time. While there are lots of good parenting books available to us, there is no manual for the heart of Moms on how to love.

Being a Mom is both wonderful and yet, can be the most challenging job on earth.  Each child has their own special needs.

Struggles and Challenges

Sometimes children grow up with a Mom who is struggling with her own past of neglect and abuse.  Drugs and alcohol may be their elixir against the pain of their past.  If you have had such an experience, Mother’s Day can be especially painful for you.  And yet, these Moms, perhaps more than others, need our love to help them heal and connect.   Sometimes it is the adult children who can extend that love when it was not extended to them.

A Celebration of Love

Mothers Day is about love.  It can be a time of celebration and joy.  It can be a time of reflection, reconciliation and forgiveness. It might be a time when we reach out to those who have not experienced the joys and sorrows of raising children and include them into your family.

How do we celebrate love?

There are no perfect Moms or Dads.  There are no perfect families or perfect children.  But love covers our inabilities, our trials and unrealistic expectations.

It might be a time to thank God and rejoice in His design for us as women.  For we are the ones that are blessed to give birth and hold that special son or daughter in our arms.  That is a love that has no words.

Marlene Anderson

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